Matthew 26 – Destiny or Free Will?

God has provided the framework within which we can make our own decisions.

When Jesus had finished saying all these things, he said to his disciples, As you know, the Passover is two days away—and the Son of Man will be handed over to be crucified.”

Then the chief priests and the elders of the people assembled in the palace of the high priest, whose name was Caiaphas, and they schemed to arrest Jesus secretly and kill him. “But not during the festival,” they said, “or there may be a riot among the people.”

While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”

10 Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 11 The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. 12 When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.13 Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

14 Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests 15 and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver.16 From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

17 On the first day of the Festival of Unleavened Bread, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Where do you want us to make preparations for you to eat the Passover?”

18 He replied, “Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, ‘The Teacher says: My appointed time is near. I am going to celebrate the Passover with my disciples at your house.’” 19 So the disciples did as Jesus had directed them and prepared the Passover.

20 When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve.21 And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.”

22 They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?”

23 Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. 24 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”

25 Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?”

Jesus answered, “You have said so.”

26 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”

27 Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. 28 This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29 I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

30 When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

31 Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:

“‘I will strike the shepherd,
    and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’

32 But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

33 Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”

34 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

35 But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.

36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

47 While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” 49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.

50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”

Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. 51 With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54 But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”

55 In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. 56 But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.

57 Those who had arrested Jesus took him to Caiaphas the high priest, where the teachers of the law and the elders had assembled. 58 But Peter followed him at a distance, right up to the courtyard of the high priest. He entered and sat down with the guards to see the outcome.

59 The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death. 60 But they did not find any, though many false witnesses came forward.

Finally two came forward 61 and declared, “This fellow said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and rebuild it in three days.’”

62 Then the high priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?” 63 But Jesus remained silent.

The high priest said to him, “I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God.”

64 “You have said so,” Jesus replied. “But I say to all of you: From now on you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

65 Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, “He has spoken blasphemy! Why do we need any more witnesses? Look, now you have heard the blasphemy. 66 What do you think?”

“He is worthy of death,” they answered.

67 Then they spit in his face and struck him with their fists. Others slapped him 68 and said, “Prophesy to us, Messiah. Who hit you?”

69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.

70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”

72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”

73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”

Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.

Jesus talks a lot about fulfilling destiny in this chapter.  In vv. 2, 12-13, 20, 23-24, 31, and 34 he tells his disciples events of the future.  He specifically says “as it was written,” (v. 24), “the Scriptures be fulfilled” (v. 54), and “that the writings of the prophets be fulfilled” (v. 56) when referring to Judas’ betrayal and his own imminent death.

Destiny – or fate, or predestination, or whatever you want to call it, even God’s Plan – is a funny thing.  Sometimes it’s comforting to believe in it.  When things are all going wrong, we can ease our troubled minds by saying, “this is all part of God’s Plan, things happen for a reason.”  I wonder about poor Judas a lot in this respect.  In the gospels of Matthew and Mark, Judas seemingly acts out of his own greed.  In Luke and John, the text says Satan took control of Judas and made him betray Jesus.  If we are of the mind Judas had to betray Jesus, that it was his destiny, believing he was possessed to do so makes him a much more sympathetic figure.  But regardless of what moved him to betray Jesus, Jesus himself seems forgiving of Judas, calling him friend until the very end.  Perhaps Jesus knew Judas could not escape his role as the betrayer, just as Jesus could not escape his role as sacrificial lamb.

But if we believe in destiny, what of free will? Put yourself in Judas’ shoes for a moment.  In a world governed only by destiny, then if we were Judas, we’d have to betray Jesus, too, right?  We’d have no choice but to – we may even be possessed by Satan in order to get the job done.  No one wants to believe their personal choices are out of their control.  We want to believe that we have some agency, some ability to influence the course of our own lives.  We want to be able to say, “No, if it were me, I would not have betrayed Jesus!”

So which is it guiding the universe? Destiny or free will?  We really have no way to know, but I’m going to be super wishy-washy and say it’s probably somewhere in the middle.  Ready for yet another parenting analogy?  I plan my day with the girls.  For example, I plan to take them to the playground.  When we get to the playground, I know the girls will play, but I let them chose what to do instead of issuing a hard order of swings-slide-sandbox.  I may encourage them towards one thing or another, or stop one activity if it’s becoming a problem (such as sand throwing in the sandbox), but by and large they have their own agency within a framework I’ve designed.  And that is what I’m comfortable believing in when it comes to God, destiny, and free will:  God has provided the framework within which we can make our own decisions.  God may course correct if we make too many decisions out of line with the overall plan – taking us out of the sandbox, if you will, but we still get to make those decisions.

All of this is why I think we will still meet Judas in heaven.  He played a critical, if unenviable, roll in the Passion of Jesus Christ.  God chose him for this task because he knew it was probably the course of action Judas would take.  It was still possible for him to resist – resist greed, resist Satan, resist whatever it was that made him do it – but unlikely.  Do I love my children any less because they can’t help but act out when they’re over-tired? Or stop eating an open bag of chocolate chips left in their reach? Or even when they hit or bite each other and pull each other’s hair?  Of course not, I know they’re children, and unable of acting better…yet.  I’ll keep working with them to improve, but I’m not going to hold it against them.  It’s not a perfect analogy for Judas – I’m not encouraging my girls to hurt each other to fulfill some sort of destiny for either of them, but I think the sentiment still holds true.

So, if destiny normally makes you feel uncomfortable, think of it not as a prison, but more as the playground fence: just there to keep you safe and know your boundaries.  If free will makes you feel like you’re playing dodgeball on a playground with no fence and no parent in the median of a major highway, know that the fence and parent are there, you just can’t see them.  There’s a quote from Lisa Bevere (a Christian writer of whom I know nothing about, other than this quote) I’ve seen circulating lately, and I love it because it implies both God’s overall power but also our power to make decisions, even bad ones.  The quote is this: “If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for the rest of your life, rest in this.  You, my friend, are not that powerful.”  So go out there, make decisions.  I hope they are good ones, but, being human, you’re bound to make some bad ones, too.  Even if they are, God will still love you and is keeping an eye on what you are doing, and how it ties into the bigger picture.  And thank goodness for that, right?

Matthew 21 – Growing from Criticism

Steps to analyze and act upon criticism, whether it be constructive or otherwise.

We’re getting into some long chapters here, just FYI – keep reading!  There’s a lot of good stuff in them.

As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.”

This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet:

“Say to Daughter Zion,
    ‘See, your king comes to you,
gentle and riding on a donkey,
    and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’”

The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road.The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

10 When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”

11 The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’”

14 The blind and the lame came to him at the temple, and he healed them. 15 But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple courts, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant.

16 “Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him.

“Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read,

“‘From the lips of children and infants
    you, Lord, have called forth your praise’?”

17 And he left them and went out of the city to Bethany, where he spent the night.

18 Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.

20 When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.

21 Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. 22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

23 Jesus entered the temple courts, and, while he was teaching, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to him. “By what authority are you doing these things?” they asked. “And who gave you this authority?”

24 Jesus replied, I will also ask you one question. If you answer me, I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. 25 John’s baptism—where did it come from? Was it from heaven, or of human origin?”

They discussed it among themselves and said, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ he will ask, ‘Then why didn’t you believe him?’ 26 But if we say, ‘Of human origin’—we are afraid of the people, for they all hold that John was a prophet.”

27 So they answered Jesus, “We don’t know.”

Then he said, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.

28 “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’

29 “‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

30 “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.

31 “Which of the two did what his father wanted?”

“The first,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. 32 For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

33 “Listen to another parable: There was a landowner who planted a vineyard. He put a wall around it, dug a winepress in it and built a watchtower. Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and moved to another place. 34 When the harvest time approached, he sent his servants to the tenants to collect his fruit.

35 “The tenants seized his servants; they beat one, killed another, and stoned a third. 36 Then he sent other servants to them, more than the first time, and the tenants treated them the same way. 37 Last of all, he sent his son to them. ‘They will respect my son,’ he said.

38 “But when the tenants saw the son, they said to each other, ‘This is the heir. Come, let’s kill him and take his inheritance.’ 39 So they took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him.

40 “Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?”

41 “He will bring those wretches to a wretched end,” they replied, “and he will rent the vineyard to other tenants, who will give him his share of the crop at harvest time.”

42 Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the Scriptures:

“‘The stone the builders rejected
    has become the cornerstone;
the Lord has done this,
    and it is marvelous in our eyes’]?

43 “Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit. 44 Anyone who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; anyone on whom it falls will be crushed.”

45 When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard Jesus’ parables, they knew he was talking about them. 46 They looked for a way to arrest him, but they were afraid of the crowd because the people held that he was a prophet.

This chapter holds Jesus making his triumphal entry into Jerusalem, hailed as a king.  A donkey is considered a royal mount, or even more specifically, a mount for the son of a king, which is fitting as Jesus is the son of God.  In addition to Zechariah 9:9 (the prophetic verses Matthew references here in v. 5), there is also an established Old Testament tradition of kings’ sons and households riding donkeys.  Judges 10:4 and 12:14, and 2 Samuel 16:2 all portray such.  Donkeys are gentle beasts, and used in contrast to war horses, like a metaphor for peaceful rule.  Additionally, throwing capes and palms on the road is an act of homage to royalty. So Jesus, and the crowd surrounding him, are really making quite a stir with this entrance.

While this is important to the linear story that is Jesus’ life, my focus today will be on the rest of the chapter, because in it I think we find the true instruction.  We have three examples of rebukes from Jesus.  The first rebuke comes when Jesus clears out the temple, expressing his anger and dismay at their “pay to pray” attitude. The second rebuke, and my favorite, is Jesus causing the fig tree to wither.  It is my favorite because I think we see a bit of Jesus humanity peek out.  By this point, Jesus has been doing a lot of travelling.  He is up early in the morning, going back to the city for what promises to be another long day, and hasn’t eaten yet. Seeing that fig tree from a distance he must have felt some relief, but then when he realized it didn’t have any fruit, he became angry.  How many times have you gone to a McDonalds and tried to order a shake when their shake machine was down?  I bet Jesus’ disappointment was akin to that feeling, and so he cursed the fig tree.  The third rebuke and longest example is Jesus back and forth with the Pharisees.  This takes place in a common teaching form at the time, with a question being answered with another question, along with two parables.  And while the end of the chapter states that the Pharisees start looking for a way to arrest Jesus, I believe that Jesus was truly trying to reach them on their level, if you will, in a way that would speak to their hearts.  These are learned men, remember, and they value discourse, which is what Jesus offered them here.  The tragedy is they couldn’t, or wouldn’t, accept it.

The question I was left with, after reading this chapter, is how to graciously accept a rebuke, a criticism, or correction, and grow from it? How do we avoid being like the fig tree, that withers, or the Pharisees, who get angry?  As someone who is quick to get defensive, I’m probably not the best person to answer this question.  But, I have Google, and if you, like me, struggle with growing graciously from criticism, here’s a few steps for you to follow:

  • First, don’t give in to anger.  This is probably the hardest step, since when someone tells us we’ve done something wrong, our first instinct is to defend ourselves.  But not giving into that first impulse of anger, indignation, or defensiveness allows us to analyze what we’ve just heard.  It’s totally OK if you need to separate yourself from the situation.  If the person criticizing you truly wants to see change, they should be able to accept it if you say something like “I hear what you are saying, but I need a moment [or whatever length of time you need, within reason] to process this.”
  • Now that you’ve established a rational headspace, you can determine whether or not the criticism offered you is, indeed, constructive or just a personal attack.  Constructive criticism offers ways to improve.  That might mean offering a solution for you to work towards, or just pointing out behavior that needs to change without relying on guilt and blame.  Guilt, blame, and general belittling is not constructive criticism, that’s just a personal attack.
  • If the criticism you received is constructive, great, you can work towards improving the situation, enrolling the help of your critic if appropriate – say, for example, if your spouse says they’re feeling like you never have time for them. In that situation, you have to enroll the help of your critic to come to a solution.  But if the criticism you received is a personal attack, you can still learn from it.  Try to stand in the critic’s shoes.  Perhaps they were just speaking out of anger that doesn’t really have anything to do with you, and you can dismiss it.  Saying a quick prayer of forgiveness and blessing for the critic sounds really hokey, but I find it helps me put it away.  But sometimes people can reveal truths to us in their anger or frustration.  Do your co-workers often get defensive or even combative with you on projects? Perhaps you are the one being overly bossy or pushy, and need to work on your soft skills a bit.  Stepping back and thinking the criticism through with a clear head and honest desire to better yourself will help you determine if there is a kernel of truth fueling the criticism, constructive or otherwise.  Also, talking it over with someone you trust can always help.
  • The final step is to grow!  Spouse feeling neglected? Make time for them!  Coworkers being uncooperative? Reach out to ask them how they think things are going.  Indignation and anger without analysis and action are going to get us nowhere, we’ll just stay stuck in a rut where things get worse.  God doesn’t want us there.  Remember, if we view God as our loving parent, Xe wants nothing more than for us to grow and mature.  And by learning from our experiences with others, even and maybe especially the criticism they offer us, we will grow in our relationships – not only with each other, but also with God.

Job 10 – Remembering Lent

Rededicating ourselves to God.

“I loathe my very life;
    therefore I will give free rein to my complaint
    and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.
I say to God: Do not declare me guilty,
    but tell me what charges you have against me.
Does it please you to oppress me,
    to spurn the work of your hands,
    while you smile on the plans of the wicked?
Do you have eyes of flesh?
    Do you see as a mortal sees?
Are your days like those of a mortal
    or your years like those of a strong man,
that you must search out my faults
    and probe after my sin—
though you know that I am not guilty
    and that no one can rescue me from your hand?

“Your hands shaped me and made me.
    Will you now turn and destroy me?
Remember that you molded me like clay.
    Will you now turn me to dust again?
10 Did you not pour me out like milk
    and curdle me like cheese,
11 clothe me with skin and flesh
    and knit me together with bones and sinews?
12 You gave me life and showed me kindness,
    and in your providence watched over my spirit.

13 “But this is what you concealed in your heart,
    and I know that this was in your mind:
14 If I sinned, you would be watching me
    and would not let my offense go unpunished.
15 If I am guilty—woe to me!
    Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head,
for I am full of shame
    and drowned in my affliction.
16 If I hold my head high, you stalk me like a lion
    and again display your awesome power against me.
17 You bring new witnesses against me
    and increase your anger toward me;
    your forces come against me wave upon wave.

18 “Why then did you bring me out of the womb?
    I wish I had died before any eye saw me.
19 If only I had never come into being,
    or had been carried straight from the womb to the grave!
20 Are not my few days almost over?
    Turn away from me so I can have a moment’s joy
21 before I go to the place of no return,
    to the land of gloom and utter darkness,
22 to the land of deepest night,
    of utter darkness and disorder,
    where even the light is like darkness.”

I’ve gotten a little side-tracked by some sub-themes in the readings these past few weeks and want to re-focus on the fact that we are still in Lent, since we’re about halfway through it.  Lent is a time we remember Jesus’ temptation in the desert, and prepare ourselves for his return on Easter.  I think calling out injustices, celebrating nature, and reaching out to those in mourning are all things he would want us to do, so the past few weeks worth of blog posts aren’t wasted, I just wanted to take the time to really focus on Lent itself again.

“If I am guilty–woe to me!” verse 15 declares, “Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head, for I am full of shame and drowned in my affliction.”  I am not a fan of needless guilt – I think it is bad for our mental health and can prevent us from getting out there and doing some real good – but this passage does invite us to marvel at the omniscient and omnipotent nature of God.  God is always watching, is ever present.  Poor Job is speaking out in pain, but there is truth when he says that God could always “bring new witnesses against [him]” (v. 16).  He even asks God to “turn away from [him] so [he] can have a moment’s joy,” (v. 20) realizing that even in the depths of his misery God is watching.

I got to go the Ash Wednesday service kid-free, which meant I actually got to listen to the sermon for once, and the Pastor asked – “if you knew Jesus was coming tonight, what would you do to prepare?”  It’s an interesting question.  In all honesty my first thought was clean the house and make some cookies.  But beyond that, it brings the reality that God is always watching, is ever present, into a more concrete reference.  There are definitely some moments where I wish God had maybe looked away and not noticed my petty gossip, losing my cool with the girls, or all the single-use containers I still buy.  But that is the beautiful thing about Lent: we know Jesus is coming, in reality we do not know the day or hour, but symbolically he will return on Easter, and we can prepare ourselves for him.

So how do we do that?  Giving up something is a nod to Jesus’ temptation in the desert, and if that helps you focus more on Jesus, then great, do it!  Dawn Hutchings, a Lutheran pastor whose blog I follow, has an interesting idea of Giving up God for Lent.  I know, it sounds a little out there, and maybe it is for some people, but the idea is to give up the idol of God and surrender to the spirit of God – I definitely suggest reading it.  But preparing for Jesus can be lots of things beyond giving up something. I took on reading Job as my Lenten practice because I never liked the book, and thought that would be an appropriate practice of spiritual rigor.  I’m happy to say that I’ve gained a new appreciation for the book of Job, and I hope that the gratitude and openness of spirit it has brought me is an appropriate preparation for Jesus.  And all that leaves is to re-dedicate ourselves to God: confessing our sins, or, if “sin” is too much of a trigger word, confessing our shortcomings and vowing to try harder.  That’s all we need to do.  Though I have to admit, if Jesus was coming tonight, I’d probably still try to clean the house.